one

The room was aflutter with the snap sounds generated by all the lilliputian speakerboxes in the digital SLR cameras all aimed forward like the eyes in a cinemaplex. The lighting spelled the word dramatic. The lenses were focused at a podium that of all furniture in the room was lit the best. The lighting’s intention was to illuminate all the more clearly the sign pasted to the front of the podium that read COMMUNITY in bold typeface. The eager crowd of journalistic photographers and photogenic journalists were awaiting the arrival of the president. The message had been CCed to everyone living under a rock with a smart phone. This was going to be a big moment, one of potentially lasting effects. A change, a shift, a tangential turn, a complete 360 over a double flip over an extra-tall hurdle and over the great wall of china. This was it.

The president approached the podium with a portly stoicism that matched the room grabbing attention of Winston Churchill. There was an obvious tension, though tension might not be the word for it. More akin to the visceral nerves triggered on the beginning ascent of a roller coaster.

The standard cough-then-tap-microphone routine was not lost on the president and founder. He was prepared to speak with full candor.

“Good afternoon, I’m Ted the president of the board of directors at Frito lay, and the sign in front of me says community. We at Frito-Lay believe in community, it was community that supported us enough to get off the ground back when the Frito company consisted of one Charles Doolin in San Antonio, Texas. All he had to his name were the rights to a corn chip recipe and $100 that he had to borrow from his dear mother to start up what later sold to a group from Nashville known as H.W. Lay & Company. And in 1965 a merger was planned with the good people at Pepsi Cola. You see the Frito Lay family, along with Pepsi, has grown as all of you have – Together – through every Super Bowl, every child’s birthday party and every quality casual event you could think of with friends and/or family. Because you see…”

The room was still in anticipation of where he was going next.

“What we care about, is not corn or potato chips, though we do have a knack for them as made apparent by the wide audience for this press conference. Chips are not what’s really on our mind, and believe it or not – neither is weather we end up in the black or the red at the end of the fiscal year, though that does help us to provide for our families and those of the greater Frito Lay family. What we care about is right here on this sign in front of me.”

Pause for dramatic effect.

“With every party size bag of chips made with authentic American corn grown in the heartland, we aim at bringing community closer together. To alter an old adage, a community that eats together, stays together. And while times are tough and there is all this chaos in the world, we rest assured that if we can help inspire a tight bond between all members of family, local community, and hell the entire American community – we’ll be able to reach the light at the end of this seemingly endless darkness.”

The number of blinks in the room could be akin to an array of cricket sounds, like those at the beginning of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Orlando and Anaheim.

“I might as well stop boring you all with abstractions and get to the crux of why I came to speak in front of all these cameras and microphones. We at Frito Lay have been cooking up this idea for some time now, and we’re at a stage when we’re ready to begin discussing it openly. We’re putting together a website with a few bright students just out of MIT. You can create an account by giving us some basic information or log in using your facebook account. This site is a platform for people to come together through Frito Lay. You can upload videos in the youtube format describing your favorite memories with your community. Exchange ideas of how to get people in the same room to enjoy each other’s company. Together we can bring everyone together. And we at Frito Lay believe that will help this community of ours get back on the right track much more than a new flavor of bbq sauce, which we are also working on, heh heh.”

The reactions in the room were varied.

“I’ll take any questions you might have now.”

No one really knew what to ask.

“Ahem, Thomas Dery from CNN, umm… How would you respond to accusations that this community inspiring website is in reality a free market testing solution in sheep’s clothing? I think most people would find it hard to believe that this is a purely altruistic endeavor.”

“You all are real vultures you know that. We’re people too! We breathe the same air you breathe!”

“Yes but…”

“No follow ups” said a man with a flat expression with a secret service demeanor about him. That appeared from an unlit area of the room behind the President.

“When will the site be up and running?”

“Within a couple months, I can’t give you an exact date right now.”

“Do you really expect us to believe this project is not financially driven?”

“Look if all you people are going to talk about is money, I’ll just leave. There are things more important than money in this world, and you should all take some time to consider that. Thank you”

He walked out in a huff. The feeling in the air was uncertain, several journalists were left to wonder if they were the real idolaters.